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What are some funny and smart quotes?

15.06.2025 04:33

What are some funny and smart quotes?

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

How long can someone with narcissistic tendencies maintain a facade of fake love before their true self is revealed? Is there a specific trigger or amount of time that causes them to reveal their true nature?

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

Is Melania still angry that she failed as a model? Why is she so cold and hostile? Why did she blame everyone for her actions in her trite book?

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

What is a narcissist grandmother like, with her grandchild?

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”